


Permanence

by KnownAsEmrys



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Drunken tattoos, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-06 11:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12816297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnownAsEmrys/pseuds/KnownAsEmrys
Summary: A drunken Merlin gets Arthur’s name tattooed on him. Arthur finds it hilarious, until he realizes Merlin isn't laughing.Or in which Merlin gets Arthur’s name tattooed on his chest and Arthur is completely obsessed with it.





	Permanence

**Author's Note:**

> I only did a cursory editing sweep, so sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes, but I'll probably come back for a more thorough one eventually.

Merlin panics when he sees the six letters written on his chest. 

_No. Please no.  Please let this be fake._

Merlin runs his slender fingers over the beautiful lettering that spells out _Arthur_ on the left side of his chest. 

He blanches when it doesn't come off, his hands flying to his head to bury themselves in his hair. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck," He says, staring at his reflection in the mirror. 

He always knew getting drunk and being hopelessly in love with his best friend were a dangerous combination, but he thought that would end in a drunken kiss he could play off. Not something quite so permanent as Arthur’s name on his skin. 

Merlin doesn't think to move until he remembers Gwaine had slept over and then he's rushing to the living room as fast he can without throwing up. Gwaine is passed out on the couch, snoring loudly when Merlin finds him and shakes him awake. 

Gwaine's snores cut off abruptly, and his eyes fly open. 

"Gwaine, why the hell do I have Arthur's name tattooed on me?" Merlin asks, his throat too dry, making his voice sound rough. 

Gwaine wipes a hand over his face, sitting up on his elbows. "God. My head hurts."

"Gwaine!" Merlin exclaims impatiently. 

Gwaine blinks at him for a moment, then realisation starts to dawn behind his brown eyes and he tosses his head back in laughter. 

Merlin frowns, sitting on the coffee table because his stomach is churning dangerously and his head is pounding too much to keep standing. "Gwaine, what the hell happened last night?"

Gwaine stops laughing to look at him with an amused grin. "You don't remember anything?"

Merlin shakes his head. "The last thing I remember is you yelling  _"I'm engaged, bitches!'_ And us taking our third round of shots."

Gwaine laughs and sits up fully. "You really can't hold your liquor. That was pretty early on."

Merlin opens his mouth to tell Gwaine to just spit it out, but then he spots the tattoo just above Gwaine's belly button. 

Gwaine notices his staring and runs his hand over Elena's name. "After you were well and truly pissed, I told you I wanted to get Elena's name tattooed on me so we found a place that was open. After we got there, you kept telling me how stupid it was to get somone's name tattooed on you because it was permanent and relationships weren't."

Merlin tries his hardest to remember any of this so far, but he can't. 

"So I said that this one was, and some mushy stuff I'm glad you don't remember and basically convinced you it was okay as long you were certain someone was always going to be around. Then you got all sad because you didn't have a relationship like that and I mentioned you'd always have Arthur, and then you just sat there for a bit before disappearing," Gwaine tells him. 

Merlin groans, clutching his throbbing head and closing his eyes. "Why am I such a stupid drunk?" 

Gwaine reaches over and squeezes his knee sympathetically. "At least you didn't trip over a bike rack."

Merlin chuckles. That had been Arthur who tripped when he was leaving, and he had only been a bit tipsy. 

"I see you two made it home saf - is that my name?" 

Merlin tenses at the sound of Arthur’s voice, and he opens his eyes to see his best friend staring at his chest, eyebrows raised in disbelief. 

Ten seconds pass in silence before Arthur rushes over to inspect the tattoo. Merlin covers it with with one hand, his face burning with embarrassment as he slaps Arthur’s hands away with the other. 

"Let me see it, Merlin!" Arthur shouts, trying his hardest to move Merlin’s hand. 

This ridiculous battle goes on for a full minute until Arthur stops trying. 

"Merlin, I already know it's there, just let me see it." Arthur says with a tone that indicates how childish he thinks Merlin is being. 

Merlin huffs and looks at Gwaine who just shrugs at him, before he moves his hand off the tattoo then looks down at the floor, too humilated to watch Arthur’s reaction. 

Arthur traces the letters with his fingers and Merlin shudders involuntarily at how cold they are. His skin feels raw and irritated, but he tries not to wince at the prolonged contact, thinking any sudden movement will upset the careful control he has over his aching body.

"Is this the part where you declare your love for me is as permanent as this tattoo?" Arthur teases. 

Merlin’s heart stutters, and he's glad he'd already been blushing. "As if," he snorts and Arthur chuckles. 

He can see Gwaine giving him this look that's way too pleased for Merlin’s liking, but he ignores him. 

"Then what on _earth_ made you decide to do this?'" Arthur asks, retracting his hand. 

Merlin meets his gaze as he replies with, "Who knows. I was blackout drunk."

Arthur shook his head, looking amused as he says, "You know you can't hold your liquor."

Merlin rolls his eyes. "I _know_."

Arthur looks at Gwaine. "Why didn't you stop him?"

Gwaine points to his stomach. "I was kind of busy when he disappeared. And if _you_ hadn't bailed early you could've stopped him."

"I was exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open," Arthur points out. 

Gwaine shakes his head. "Excuses, excuses."

"Hey, at least I showed up unlike everyone else!" Arthur exclaims. "Who invites people out drinking on a Tuesday anyway?"

"All right, Princess, I'll give you your due credit for at least coming," Gwaine relents. 

Merlin stands up, remembering he had gotten up to pee when he'd seen the tattoo. Arthur catches his wrist as he starts to leave, causing Merlin to pause and look back. 

"Oh, we're _hardly_ done discussing this,  _Mer_ lin," Arthur says in a tone that immediately makes Merlin defensive. 

 "What's there to discuss? I got pissed, got a tattoo, and now I have a killer hangover."  

"You got _my name_ over your heart!" Arthur exclaims. 

Merlin shrugs, aiming for nonchalance. "You’re my best friend. Obviously drunk me thought you were important enough to immortalise on my skin."

"And hungover you doesn't?" Arthur questions. 

"Hungover me remembers you're a prat and that I really need to pee. And maybe puke." Merlin answers, breaking away from Arthur’s grasp and walking off. 

"Just admit you're in with love me already!" Arthur calls. 

Merlin’s heart skips a beat. 

He says nothing back. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Merlin was foolish to think Arthur would ever stop teasing him about his tattoo. Two weeks had passed and Arthur hadn't relented, much to Merlin’s growing irritation. All the jokes and teasing were about Merlin secretly being in love with him, which was hell on his poor heart that always stuttered or skipped a beat. 

"I'm going to die of a heart attack if he keeps accusing me of being in love with him," Merlin complains to Gwen and Lance one day. 

They both offer sympathetic smiles. 

"Do you want me to say something to him?" Lance asks. 

Merlin sighs. "No, because then he might catch on that _I am_ , _in fact_ , as hopelessly in love with him as he teases."

Gwen straightens in her chair and take his right hand in between both of hers. "Would that be so bad?"

Merlin frowns. "It would be horrible! He’d reject me and then I'd never see him again. I'm not risking our friendship just because I'm pathetically head over heels for him."

"Why do you think he would reject you?" Gwen asks.

"Because I've seen the people he brings home and there's no way I can compete with them," Merlin says. 

Gwen rolls her eyes. "Merlin, Arthur is not the shallow type and you know it."

Merlin deflates and looks down at the table. "I know."

"So what's the real reason then?" Gwen prompts. 

Merlin starts picking at the table with his thumbnail as he admits, "I think he deserves someone better than a poor boy from the country who relies on him way too much."

"Arthur doesn't think of you like that," Lance says firmly. "And he relies on you too Merlin. Your opinion matters to him above all others."

Merlin glances up, the earnest expression on Lance's face winning him over enough to keep meeting his gaze. "Still, I'm not good enough for him. If I was, something would have happened by now. It's been six years." 

Gwen squeezes his right hand, the sweet gesture losing it's effectiveness by her next words. "Merlin Emrys, I love you, but sometimes you really are an idiot."

Merlin opens his mouth to argue, but Gwen continues,  "And I love Arthur too, but he's an even bigger idiot than you are."

Merlin looks to Lance for help, but he's looking at Gwen nervously. 

"How is anything ever supposed to happen if you don't tell him what you want? He's not psychic." Gwen reasons, drawing his attention again. 

Merlin groans and pulls away from her. "I can't just _tell_ him Gwen. It's not something you just blurt out to someone."

Gwen cocks an eyebrow at him. "But getting his name tattooed on you is fine?" 

"I was drunk!" Merlin exclaims. 

Gwen looks at him unimpressed. "Yes, but why did drunk you think it was a good idea again?"

Merlin blushes and crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back in his chair. "I don’t remember."

Gwen gives him this _look,_ but he doesn't change his tune, aware she already knows the truth. "All I'm trying to tell you is that I think you should just admit it already because he's completely in - "  

Just then Lance clamps a hand over Gwen's mouth and says, "Because he's completely incapable of doing anything without you. Even if he does reject you - and what an idiot he would have to be to do that - you won't lose him." 

Merlin furrows his brow, confused by Lance's actions. 

Gwen pries Lance's hand off and glares at him, before turning back to Merlin. "What he said," is all she says.

"At least then you would know if there will ever be more between you two," Lance adds. 

Merlin let's out a drawn out sigh, feeling miserable and unsure. "I don't know. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should just tell him so I can move past it if I need to."

Gwen smiles at him ruefully. "I think that's all you can do at this point."

So Merlin decides to just confess the next time Arthur accuses him.

Except, he chickens out last minute, and tells Arthur he could never be in love with someone who owns a fidget spinner. Arthur defends himself, saying it was a gag gift from Morgana, but Merlin shoots him down by saying he broke the one she bought for him and replaced it.

And then that's just how their arguments go from then on. Arthur says something about the tattoo and Merlin having feelings for him, Merlin makes an excuse as to why he couldn't possibly love Arthur and then chaos ensues. 

 

* * *

 

 

It's the third week after Merlin got Arthur’s name tattooed on him, and Arthur can't seem to stop bringing it up. He knows why of course. 

Arthur loves seeing his name tattooed on Merlin's chest, and even when he can't see it, it fills him with warmth knowing it's there. He knows Merlin is annoyed by all his teasing, but he can't resist the urge, hoping that maybe one day Merlin will slip up and admit he's in love with Arthur. 

Not that Arthur thinks he ever could be, but he still clings to the hope that he just might be. 

He's out having lunch with Merlin and Leon when he teases Merlin yet again. While Merlin just sighs and excuses himself to the bathroom this time, Leon smacks his arm. 

"Ow!" Arthur exclaims, putting his hand over the area Leon just hit. "What was that for?"

"Merlin's had the tattoo for almost a month so come off it already," Leon says, sounding irritated. 

Arthur frowns, his arms flailing as he speaks, "But how can I? It's _my_ name for chrissake!" 

"Yes,  but you don't have to be such an _ass_ about it. He _was_ pissed after all." Leon points out. 

Arthur feels guilt creeping into his belly. "I just can't seem to help it."

Leon's features soften a little. "I get that you're in love with him and your heart probably soared when you found out about the tattoo, but your obsession with it is starting to upset Merlin."

Arthur had noticed. He wasn't daft. "I know," he admits, his right hand wrapping around his half empty bottle of beer. 

"Then you'll stop?" Leon prods. 

Arthur takes a swig of his beer, letting out a small sigh when he sets it back down. "I'll try."

Leon, surprisingly, doesn't seem to think that's enough. "Arthur, nobody finds it funny except for you, or haven't you noticed?"

Arthur looks at Leon, studying the odd expression there, but not quite able to decipher what it is. He thinks back to every instance he can remember where he’s teased Merlin in front of someone, and no, they most certainly didn't seem amused. 

_Why is that?_

"But, you all used to tease us about being an old married couple? Why the sudden change?" Arthur questions. 

"We saw that look in your eye, and it didn't seem to be the most sensitive thing to joke about anymore," Leon says, but the way he's not exactly looking Arthur in the eye telling him it's a half truth at best.

He wants to poke at whatever Leon's trying to skirt around, but Merlin comes back and he drops it. 

Merlin steals one of Arthur’s fries, and they soon all settle back into the nice lunch they were having.

Arthur doesn't mention the tattoo again. 

 

* * *

 

 

Well, he doesn't mention the tattoo at all for an entire week. 

But then one morning he's making breakfast and Merlin stumbles into the kitchen, sleep-rumpled, wearing only his pajama bottoms, his hair sticking up in all directions.

He smiles at Arthur sleepily, eyes hazy as he walks towards the coffee machine.

Arthur can't help but smile back at him. He loves the bright smiles Merlin always gives him in the mornings. They make him feel motivated to do something good  enough during the rest of his day to deserve them. 

They don’t need words to get everything set on the table, or for Merlin to make Arthur’s coffee exactly as he likes it, or for Arthur to play Merlin's favorite morning talk show from his phone, their usual routine engrained into them at this point. 

 At first, everything is normal. 

They eat and take turns telling the other what they have to do for the day during the uninteresting segments of the talk show. Then, after they've eaten and are sipping at their coffee, listening to the last few minutes of the show, Arthur's eyes involuntarily slide down to Merlin’s chest.

His name does look quite captivating on Merlin. Especially with how beautiful the letters look, how intricately detailed they appear to be. 

Merlin’s hand suddenly covers the tattoo and Arthur's gaze snaps up, expecting blue eyes to be glaring at him, but Merlin is staring into his mug. "Don't."

Arthur frowns. "Don't what?"

"Just don't." Merlin says firmly. 

Arthur says nothing for a minute, then, "I promise not to bring it up anymore if you'll just tell me why." 

At first, he doesn't think Merlin is going to answer him, but eventually he sighs and asks, "If I tell you, you swear you won't tease me anymore?"

Arthur nods. "I swear."

Merlin still won't look at him, choosing to swirl the remnants of his coffee around and around in his mug, but he tells Arthur what Gwaine told him 

The implication that their friendship is permanent makes Arthur smile as does the knowledge that Merlin thought the whole idea was stupid until Gwaine convinced him otherwise. "So you're _that_ confident in our friendship?"

Merlin shrugs, setting his mug on the table. "Sometimes."

Arthur knows he just doesn't want to give him the satisfaction of a solid confirmation and rolls his eyes. "Oh you know you couldn't last a day without me."

Merlin looks up at him finally and something seems off, but Arthur can't place what he's seeing. "No. I couldn't."

Something shifts in the atmosphere, causing Arthur to straighten up a bit in his chair.

"Are you all right, Merlin?" Arthur asks, concerned by the way Merlin's looking at him. 

Merlin ignores his question. "Do you think our friendship could survive anything?" 

Arthur is caught off guard by the question. Not because he doesn't know the answer, everything inside him is sure, but because he never thought Merlin would ever need to ask him this. 

"Of course," Arthur says, staring Merlin dead in the eye. 

Merlin stares at him, seeming to be searching for something, or maybe just gathering his courage, or maybe both. 

Arthur opens his mouth to ask Merlin what’s going on, but Merlin speaks first, "Could it survive me being in love with you?"

Arthur tenses, his heart stuttering, his brain ceases to function, unable to process what he just heard. 

_What?_

He must take too long to answer because Merlin jumps up and rushes out of the room and all he can do is watch. 

Merlin’s bedroom door slamming shut is what finally jumpstarts Arthur into action.  He sprints to Merlin’s room and tries to open the door, but it's locked. 

"Merlin?" Arthur calls, knocking on the door. 

No answer. 

"Merlin, _please_ open the door." 

No answer. 

"Merlin, I'm sorry. You just caught me by surprise is all." Arthur says. "Please come out so we can talk."

Arthur hears a famliar bang from the floor below and sighs. "Or you could just run out the fire escape and not give me a chance to explain."

The older lady below them, Esther, was their friend and it was common for Merlin to go down to visit her, usually by the fire escape. It was also common for him to knock over her massive bible that she kept near the window whenever he crawled through said window. 

Arthur was torn. He could go downstairs and confront Merlin, or he could wait until after work when Merlin might actually be willing to talk to him. When it occured to him that all Merlin had to do was tell Esther he didn't want to see Arthur and she would take his side, he decided he would have to wait.

 

* * *

 

 

Arthur comes home to an empty apartment, but he knows Merlin was there at some point because his bedroom door is open. He grabs his phone and calls Merlin, but he doesn't answer. 

A minute goes by and he gets a text from Lance. 

| _He needs some space._ |

Arthur frowns. |  _I need to talk to him._ |

He starts pulling at the knot in his tie. 

| _Yes. You do. But not today._ | 

Arthur lets out a frustrated cry. 

_Why did I have to become a simpleton at the single most important moment in my life?_

Arthur hadn't even gotten to revel in the fact that Merlin is in love with him because it was tainted by his own stupidity. If he had just said yes to Merlin’s question instead of losing control of his faculites, if he had just admitted his own feelings he could be having his first date with Merlin right now. 

Arthur goes straight to his room and plops down on his bed face first, just wanting this day to be over already. He falls asleep, but it doesn't seem to be that long before he's woken up by someone pushing him onto the floor. 

"Oh, good! You’re up," Morgana says as he rolls onto his back, rubbing his forehead. 

"What are _you_ doing here?" Arthur questions grumpily. 

"I came to see why you failed to answer a simple yes or no question, our good friend Merlin asked you." She tells him, and he can hear the barely contained anger concealed in false sweetness. 

Arthur groans and covers his face with his hands. "Because I'm an idiot."

"At least you admit it." Morgana says. 

Arthur sits up and looks at his sister. "I completely froze and now I've gone and made a mess of things."

Morgana nods. "And now you have to clean it up. I know you’re used to Merlin doing that for you, but surely you can manage it this _one_ time."

Arthur glares at her as he stands up. "I'll have you know that I already have a plan to make things right."

It's a blatant lie. He has no idea how to fix this. 

Morgana cocks her eyebrow at him skeptically. "And what plan is that exactly?"

Arthur is glad he can think on his feet. "I'm not telling you. You'll tell Gwen, who will tell Lance who will tell Merlin and I want it to be a surprise."

Morgana doesn't look convinced, but drops it. "I look forward to seeing how this plays out."

  _Me too._

Morgana declares she's sleeping over, and then leaves Arthur’s room to raid his pantry. He plops down onto his bed, turns off his light and tries to come up with a battle plan. 

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Merlin returns home just after Arthur’s left for work. He has a short window before he has to leave for work himself so he goes to his room to get changed. 

He finds a note on his bed, but ignores it until after he gets dressed. 

_I'm sorry about yesterday. I just froze up. Please have dinner with me tonight so we can talk. I have something really important to tell you. Meet me at Lachie's tonight at seven. - A_

Merlin feels a bit of hope flare in his chest, but he knows that at most Arthur will tell him that they can still be friends. He shoves the note into his pocket and goes to the kitchen where he finds another note telling him Arthur left him a plate of food in the microwave. 

It's his favorite, blueberry pancakes with a side of hasbrowns and bacon. 

He heats it up and pours himself the last of the coffee Arthur left in the pot, thinking of how predictable he must be for Arthur to know he would come back this morning. 

Merlin eats his breakfast quickly and heads to work, the note burning a hole in his pocket the whole way. It's not like he planned to avoid Arthur forever, but he was hoping to for at least a few days. Of course, he had never gone more than one without seeing Arthur since they had become friends so he should have known better. 

Gwen greets him as he walks into the spa's reception area, and he hands her the note immediately in lieu of saying anything.

Gwen hands it back after she's read it and says," I think you should meet him."

"But Gwen, if I meet with him and he tells me...if he...I don't think I can handle him rejecting me again."

Gwen places her hand on his arm and squeezes it. "Merlin, he didn't reject you the first time. He just didn't get a chance to react before you ran away."

"I gave him plenty of time to react!" Merlin exclaims. 

 "If Arthur had dropped the same bombshell on you, do you think you’d be able to react at first?" Gwen asks. 

"Yes!" Merlin says, even though he isn't sure.

Gwen looks at him skeptically. "Just meet him. You might be surprised by what he has to tell you."

The phone rings and Gwen answers it after shooing Merlin off. He finds Gwaine and shows him the note and gets an identical response to what Gwen told him, and the hope flares just a bit more in his chest. 

After work, Merlin goes home and changes into tight fitting black jeans, and an old footie jersey of Arthur’s. He hopes the jeans will show Arthur what he's missing and the jersey will remind Arthur of how long they've been friends and will get him to let Merlin down gently. 

He doesn't know if Arthur will need to stop by the apartment, but he isn't quite ready to face him so Merlin decides to hang out at Esther's until it's time to go. 

"Still hiding, dear?" Esther asks as he sets the bible back on the table next to the window. 

"Just for a few more hours," Merlin admits. "I'm supposed to meet Arthur for dinner so we can talk."

He doesn't say he might not show up. 

Esther opens her arms expectantly and Merlin hugs her, not minding so much when after she pinches his cheeks and comments that he's too skinny. They go to to the kitchen where Esther insists he eats a slice of pie and they share a cup of tea. They talk about nothing for awhile, just enjoying each other's company until,

"When are you meeting Arthur?" Esther asks. 

"Seven."

Esther hums and checks the time. "A little less than an hour then." 

Merlin nods. 

Esther grabs his right hand and holds it in between both of hers. "I think it would be a mistake not to show up."

Merlin tries not to look guilty, but doesn't outright deny he was thinking of doing just that. 

"I think you two need to have this talk if you're ever going to move forward," Esther tells him.

Merlin stares at his empty cup. "I know. I'm just worried that everything will change after tonight."

Esther squeezes his hand reassuringly. "Sweetie, you and Arthur are two sides of the same coin. He needs you just as much as you need him. No matter what happens tonight, your friendship will survive it."

"What if he breaks my heart?" Merlin asks.

"He won't," Esther assures him. 

"You can't know that," Merlin points out. 

"And you can't know for sure that he will," She counters. 

Merlin sighs, wishing he could skip to the part of the story where this is all over and done with. 

"If it's of any consolation, I think that boy is absolutely smitten with you." Esther tells him with a smile. "I wish I still had someone that looks at me the way you look at each other."

Merlin returns the smile, but he doesn't believe her words. Arthur doesn't look at Merlin the same way Merlin looks at him, or else things wouldn't be the way they are now. 

"I think I'll I use the restroom and get out of your hair," Merlin announces. 

Esther lets him go. "Speaking of hair, run a brush through yours."

Merlin chuckles and heads to the bathroom. He relieves himself and uses a spare brush to tame his hair a bit. He kisses Esther on the cheek and pets her fat tabby Belle before he heads out to meet Arthur. 

Part of him wants to turn back, to just delay this talk for another night, but a bigger part of him needs to see what will happen despite how much it terrifies him. So that's how he finds himself standing outside Lachie's twenty minutes before he's supposed to meet Arthur, still debating on what he should do. 

Ultimately, it's the rain that makes his decision for him. 

Merlin goes inside and heads straight to the bar, grateful Arthur chose somewhere he could drink, needing a little liquid courage right about now. He orders a shot of Jameson then asks for a Guinness. 

He's not surprised when Arthur shows up ten minutes early and sits in the stool next to him. 

"Hi," Arthur greets him. 

"Hi," Merlin says before taking a sip of his beer. 

"Do you want to move to a table?" Arthur suggests. 

Merlin thinks a moment, refusing to look at him. "I think I'd rather hear what you have to say first just in case I need more alcohol."

Arthur scoots so he's on the edge of his barstool, his knees gently pressing into Merlin's left thigh. "Okay, but I don't think that will be necessary."

Merlin looks at him curiously and that's when he notices something odd. 

Arthur is wearing his favorite dress shirt, a deep red button up with his sleeves rolled up as well as his tightest pair of jeans and it seems he's gotten a haircut. 

_He looks like he's dressed for a date._

And there's that hope again. 

"Merlin, about yesterday..." Arthur trails and Merlin stiffens. "You caught me by surprise with your question and I just froze instead of answering like I should have. I think my silence has given you the wrong impression."

Merlin swallows nervously, his palms sweating as he watches Arthur. "Well, what would you have said if I hadn't run away?"

Arthur grabs his left hand, causing Merlin to stare down at their now entwined hands. "I would have said yes," Arthur tells him. "I would have told you our friendship can survive you being in love with me because it's survived me being hopelessly in love with you all these years."

Merlin thinks his heart is going to give out, but at the last second it chooses to beat faster instead. "What?" Merlin asks, not sure if he heard Arthur correctly. 

Arthur smiles at him, then suddenly he's unbuttoning his shirt with his free hand. "I know I've been a bit of a prat about your tattoo, and I now realize how insensitive it was to tease you about being secretly in love with me, but I _was_ right. You _are_ in love with me. So I thought, what better way to show you I love you just as much than with a tattoo of my own."

Arthur opens his shirt, making sure to move the left half just enough for Merlin to see his name written in the same place and in the same style as his own tattoo. Merlin doesn't realize he's reaching forward until his fingers make contact with Arthur’s chest. Arthur winces, but when Merlin tries to retract his hand, Arthur tugs it forward again, letting him know that it's okay, he can take it. 

Merlin traces his name in disbelief, his eyes flicking up to meet Arthur’s gaze. Arthur's watching him intensely, waiting for him to say something. 

The bartender clears his throat, a subtle reminder that they're in public, and Merlin retracts his hand, allowing Arthur to button up his shirt. 

"You're really in love with me? This isn't a dream?" Merlin asks, because he has to. 

Arthur smiles. "I think things would have gone a lot smoother if this had been a dream." 

Merlin chuckles. "Probably."

Arthur squeezes Merlin's hand. "I should have told you how I felt sooner, but I thought you were too good for me. That you couldn't possibly be in love with me."

Merlin frowns. "Too good for _you_? _You're_ too good for _me_!"

Now Arthur is frowning. "Merlin, don't be ridiculous. I am who I am _because_ of _you_. How could _I_ possibly be too good for _you_? How could I _not_ be in love with you?"

Merlin isn't sure what to say to that, so he looks down at their hands, trying to process this unexpected turn in the evening. He plays with Arthur’s fingers, and Arthur occasionally catches his in turn. "I love you, " he says just because he can. 

Arthur catches his pinky. "I love you too."

Merlin revels in the joy shooting through him and smiles at Arthur who's looking at him as if Christmas came early. 

"So, are you ready to have our first date?" Arthur asks. 

"Dressed like this?" Merlin questions. 

Arthur rakes his eyes over Merlin appreciatively. "I've always liked you in that jersey and those jeans hug you in a very flattering way. You obviously did this on purpose."

Merlin grins, not bothering to deny it as Arthur stands up. 

"Well? Do you want to go on this date or hang around the bar all night?" Arthur asks, offering him his hand. 

Merlin takes his hand and allows Arthur to pull him to his feet. When Arthur tries to lead him to a table, Merlin stops him. 

Arthur looks at him questioningly, but Merlin invades his space until there's barely any separating them. "There's just something I need to do first."

He sees Arthur staring at his lips, sees him lick his own before Merlin presses forward, kissing Arthur with everything he has. It's not chaste like he always imagined their first kiss would be. Instead it's hard and more intense than a first kiss should be, but in the moment, it's perfect.

They pull apart for air, staring at each other as they try to catch their breath, and Merlin finally sees it. He sees the look Esther was talking about and he realizes it's not much different than how Arthur has always looked at him.

If only he had realized it sooner. 

"You know the first kiss typically comes _after_ the first date right?" Arthur teases. 

Merlin chuckles breathlessly. "And falling in love typically comes after both of those things so I think it's safe to say we tend to do things backwards."

Arthur laughs and gives Merlin a quick peck on the lips. "Yes. We do."

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you thought of this!


End file.
